http://www.karentyrrell.com/
The above site is a link to a friend of mine who is offering a nice booklet-of the which you can see on this site. I cannot say how long it will be offered. You just sign up for her email to get it.
She also has a memoir I want to read soon. I need to check if it is a lot cheaper for Kindle .I am surprised that some books are almost as much as a hard copy for the Kindle. I will buy the regular ones if they run that way. Some are quite a bargain. A Memoir tells an experience. I really like reading them with this subject more than mere facts.
A link to her site with the Memoir: http://www.karentyrrell.com/
Showing posts with label bipolar hospitalization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar hospitalization. Show all posts
Monday, August 13, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Hospital 3
I have been putting this off since it is not a pleasant subject to meditate on. I have also had so much drama in my family which has hindered me from posting for a few days. Had to drive into town which is an hour back and forth.
Any way I was stripped for track marks and I believe cuttings. I do not do either by the grace of God. So humiliating. I had some bug bites and had to say they were bug bites with the nurse writing everything down. I also have psoriasis and had to explain that. It is on my ankles.
The night nurse- It was by then midnight- had me take sleep medicine. Since I was lied to at the beginning and I wanted to sleep to make the horror go away so I took the trazadone and ativan. I conked until 7 a.m. until I was awakened by loud noise which I discovered was the kitchen person bringing breakfast.
I did not want to eat, but they would allow nothing in my room and I have low blood sugar a lot, So I forced myself to eat what I could. I am nor used to eating breakfast. I know it is supposed to be bad, but for me but once I eat I crave chocolate-even if I eat a big meal.The longer in the day I put off eating the better. I am just an out of the box typed person. It works for me. The rest of the time in the hospital I believe I ended up eating more than I ever have in my life. I was afraid not to eat well and have the low blood sugar attack. Now you could ask for snacks at the desk, but I actually just wanted to be away from the nurses as little interaction as possible. I am not always good at asking. (introvert) and some of the nurses acted put out. Some of the hospital food was extremely good and some was lame. I also seem to have an ocd thing with eating with people I do not know so I had to pray to not be revolted.they also had a TV. blasting shows that were not a help for my repulsive feelings. The room was also kind of dirty. When I got restless I started wiping the tables myself on the last couple days of my stay.
The DR.: The first DR there was - and you had to wait for awhile -with no witnesses- said very abusive remarks. He threatened things. he may have had dry humor and really no one said much to each other in there because "the walls have ears" so I never knew what others thought of this "joker." He threatened to not let me go home to my family, to throw my husband in the hospital and such things the 3 days I saw him. On Saturday we had a different doctor. he was the total opposite of the other. Kind ,and he let me out 2 days early.Which I had been praying hard for.
Medications: They put me on a bunch of medicines. One given me- and I at least give the kudo's to the churlish doctrine for the new anti depressant he put me on. It actually has done wonders. They also put me on what they called an anti psychotic and I was not even psychotic. This drug caused me unable to sleep by the 2nd night upon taking and psychotic symptoms. I had to pray through it asking it not to effect me.
Speaking of sleep. I slept from 12- 7 the first day and I went back to sleep for most of the rest of the day except for supper, when nurses came to check my vitals and or give me the meds. My room mate slept also that day. I had been horrified to see I would be sharing a room. The room also was dark and I hated to turn the light on to bother her, but by afternoon day 2 I was not able to sleep so I had to read or could not stand it. As far as I know my room mate slept all the time except meals and I had thought I would sleep like that to make the time go by like maybe she would do. As I also have stated before, the one drug they put me on made me manic at night, but I was told by the grumpy physician that if I refused my meds-which I could do-he would keep me for a month- so I endured and told no one.I prayed. ( You can refuse the pills, but if you do you will bear the punishment.)
Other "patients": almost all the other patients in there with what I could discern and hear were in there because of drugs in some manner or another connected to fighting, clashes, recklessness or of the same.( I felt vindicated by my blood test showing I had no illegal drugs or alcohol in my body.) One saw me reading my bible and asked me some things. when he left , he asked for me to pray for him. I have been trying to do it daily. I really-even though that was the most I talked to any other one in there with me-did not have much interaction with others as said. I also have mentioned my introvert personality.(When I get among many people I do not know, I find it hard to converse.) If I am around one person or people I already know I can talk their "ear off." I do believe also that many were inhibited to talk since anything could be used against you. Several things stick out with my fellow patients:
One lady that seemed pretty normal, but would fade in and out. All I could think maybe she was perhaps schizophrenic . This lady was missing a limb and in a wheel chair. she kept trying to sneak in one of the young guys rooms. I also saw her laying completely naked on her bed where you had to see her when you walked by. I did tell the nurses this was going on and they took care of it. I also saw the young guy that she was trying to sneak in with walk by her door and I was apprehensive that he may have seen her also spread out.
Since I am finding this is taking more writing then I had anticipated with this blog, I am going to cut out here and do another post on the hospital experience. I just know if something is too long I will not attempt it. So to find out what took place after the unclothed bed incident tune in for a later posting I have also missed some things I wanted to say in my sections above. Next time:What happened with this young man-that may have been connected to the exposed woman on her bed in her room.
Any way I was stripped for track marks and I believe cuttings. I do not do either by the grace of God. So humiliating. I had some bug bites and had to say they were bug bites with the nurse writing everything down. I also have psoriasis and had to explain that. It is on my ankles.
The night nurse- It was by then midnight- had me take sleep medicine. Since I was lied to at the beginning and I wanted to sleep to make the horror go away so I took the trazadone and ativan. I conked until 7 a.m. until I was awakened by loud noise which I discovered was the kitchen person bringing breakfast.
I did not want to eat, but they would allow nothing in my room and I have low blood sugar a lot, So I forced myself to eat what I could. I am nor used to eating breakfast. I know it is supposed to be bad, but for me but once I eat I crave chocolate-even if I eat a big meal.The longer in the day I put off eating the better. I am just an out of the box typed person. It works for me. The rest of the time in the hospital I believe I ended up eating more than I ever have in my life. I was afraid not to eat well and have the low blood sugar attack. Now you could ask for snacks at the desk, but I actually just wanted to be away from the nurses as little interaction as possible. I am not always good at asking. (introvert) and some of the nurses acted put out. Some of the hospital food was extremely good and some was lame. I also seem to have an ocd thing with eating with people I do not know so I had to pray to not be revolted.they also had a TV. blasting shows that were not a help for my repulsive feelings. The room was also kind of dirty. When I got restless I started wiping the tables myself on the last couple days of my stay.
The DR.: The first DR there was - and you had to wait for awhile -with no witnesses- said very abusive remarks. He threatened things. he may have had dry humor and really no one said much to each other in there because "the walls have ears" so I never knew what others thought of this "joker." He threatened to not let me go home to my family, to throw my husband in the hospital and such things the 3 days I saw him. On Saturday we had a different doctor. he was the total opposite of the other. Kind ,and he let me out 2 days early.Which I had been praying hard for.
Medications: They put me on a bunch of medicines. One given me- and I at least give the kudo's to the churlish doctrine for the new anti depressant he put me on. It actually has done wonders. They also put me on what they called an anti psychotic and I was not even psychotic. This drug caused me unable to sleep by the 2nd night upon taking and psychotic symptoms. I had to pray through it asking it not to effect me.
Speaking of sleep. I slept from 12- 7 the first day and I went back to sleep for most of the rest of the day except for supper, when nurses came to check my vitals and or give me the meds. My room mate slept also that day. I had been horrified to see I would be sharing a room. The room also was dark and I hated to turn the light on to bother her, but by afternoon day 2 I was not able to sleep so I had to read or could not stand it. As far as I know my room mate slept all the time except meals and I had thought I would sleep like that to make the time go by like maybe she would do. As I also have stated before, the one drug they put me on made me manic at night, but I was told by the grumpy physician that if I refused my meds-which I could do-he would keep me for a month- so I endured and told no one.I prayed. ( You can refuse the pills, but if you do you will bear the punishment.)
Other "patients": almost all the other patients in there with what I could discern and hear were in there because of drugs in some manner or another connected to fighting, clashes, recklessness or of the same.( I felt vindicated by my blood test showing I had no illegal drugs or alcohol in my body.) One saw me reading my bible and asked me some things. when he left , he asked for me to pray for him. I have been trying to do it daily. I really-even though that was the most I talked to any other one in there with me-did not have much interaction with others as said. I also have mentioned my introvert personality.(When I get among many people I do not know, I find it hard to converse.) If I am around one person or people I already know I can talk their "ear off." I do believe also that many were inhibited to talk since anything could be used against you. Several things stick out with my fellow patients:
One lady that seemed pretty normal, but would fade in and out. All I could think maybe she was perhaps schizophrenic . This lady was missing a limb and in a wheel chair. she kept trying to sneak in one of the young guys rooms. I also saw her laying completely naked on her bed where you had to see her when you walked by. I did tell the nurses this was going on and they took care of it. I also saw the young guy that she was trying to sneak in with walk by her door and I was apprehensive that he may have seen her also spread out.
Since I am finding this is taking more writing then I had anticipated with this blog, I am going to cut out here and do another post on the hospital experience. I just know if something is too long I will not attempt it. So to find out what took place after the unclothed bed incident tune in for a later posting I have also missed some things I wanted to say in my sections above. Next time:What happened with this young man-that may have been connected to the exposed woman on her bed in her room.
 |
| Exactly how it was waiting for the DR. Though nurses no longer dress like this. |
Monday, July 23, 2012
Depression- Medicines
One thing I really get tired of is people giving advice when they are not in your house, have not lived your life and just plain do not know.
Last time I went in the hospital I was told over and over I need these medicines they put me on. Now I am not against medicine for any condition even mental stuff if needed . What I do not care for is medical people so called talking to you like you are stupid, giving advice that works for them but they have no idea what it is like in actuality. Degrees do not count! -and talking to you stupid. Or when you tell them exactly what happened with a medicine practically accusing you of lying. Looking at you like you do Meth like many. I have no respect for these people at all. They make it all sound so easy because their way works for them.
They take it for granted you have money to get these drugs. Actually an antidepressant I was put on in the hospital was really helping. One case manager told me I could probably get this medicine for $4 Walmart list. I called Walmart and woe, was this not only on the $4 list , it was running about $150 for a month. Well I am told you can go get it on the discount at Walgreens . It is only $30 there. Walgreens is way far out, so consider the gas, and it would be okay if I just had that prescription, but how much do all the prescriptions I get run at $30 a pop? It is like a juggling act.
Needless to say, I think it is better to give this depression over to God. if I had not had this good medicine in the first place, my depression would be more manageable then it is now. it is extreme as my body loses the help of the drug.
I tell them that. "What if I cannot get these medication? After all as I wrote on a post back a few days, I am trying to get asthma help with natural plants in my yard since my asthma is a killer and real costly to get the prescriptions for. There answer is "why?" DUH !!!! Things do happen and my asthma medication is a matter of life and death.
So here I sit -extremely depressed-far worse than if I had never had the stupid drugs in the first place and they want to push more and more which is far worse to have and then not and over and over cycle than to just deal with it with God's strength in the first place.
Oh and another thing in their cushy government job. You call to tell them -these concerned for you helpers when you were in the hospital-to tell them wast is happening, leave messages and they do not call back. This is not me, because of God's restraining hand but then they scratch their heads at someone going postal. Is it any wonder?
Last time I went in the hospital I was told over and over I need these medicines they put me on. Now I am not against medicine for any condition even mental stuff if needed . What I do not care for is medical people so called talking to you like you are stupid, giving advice that works for them but they have no idea what it is like in actuality. Degrees do not count! -and talking to you stupid. Or when you tell them exactly what happened with a medicine practically accusing you of lying. Looking at you like you do Meth like many. I have no respect for these people at all. They make it all sound so easy because their way works for them.
They take it for granted you have money to get these drugs. Actually an antidepressant I was put on in the hospital was really helping. One case manager told me I could probably get this medicine for $4 Walmart list. I called Walmart and woe, was this not only on the $4 list , it was running about $150 for a month. Well I am told you can go get it on the discount at Walgreens . It is only $30 there. Walgreens is way far out, so consider the gas, and it would be okay if I just had that prescription, but how much do all the prescriptions I get run at $30 a pop? It is like a juggling act.
Needless to say, I think it is better to give this depression over to God. if I had not had this good medicine in the first place, my depression would be more manageable then it is now. it is extreme as my body loses the help of the drug.
I tell them that. "What if I cannot get these medication? After all as I wrote on a post back a few days, I am trying to get asthma help with natural plants in my yard since my asthma is a killer and real costly to get the prescriptions for. There answer is "why?" DUH !!!! Things do happen and my asthma medication is a matter of life and death.
So here I sit -extremely depressed-far worse than if I had never had the stupid drugs in the first place and they want to push more and more which is far worse to have and then not and over and over cycle than to just deal with it with God's strength in the first place.
Oh and another thing in their cushy government job. You call to tell them -these concerned for you helpers when you were in the hospital-to tell them wast is happening, leave messages and they do not call back. This is not me, because of God's restraining hand but then they scratch their heads at someone going postal. Is it any wonder?
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Hospital B
4 hours in an emergency waiting room ( If some one was serious about harming themselves or any one else there were needles and a lot of other stuff to use to self or other harm in the emergency room and my husband was in and out so I had a chance if I had really been serious.
I had been told if I went willingly I would get only 4 hours, I found out this did not include the emergency room time - which was as I stated 4 hours. I asked to go home at the 4 hour mark, but was not happy when i was told I was 96'd. I never had ever heard that term. I have since talked to many that know all about it. I questioned it and suddenly had 3 security guard around me. They would not let me call my lawyer not have my stuff. They made me get in a wheelchair by threatening straight jacket. I have always got out of anything I set my mind to if I really did not want to do it( I am not talking about things promised here, but what someone may put on me, I want to avoid.) I kept thinking how I was missing my daily walk, my kids trauma and taking care of my birds.
Finally I was getting somewhere and maybe once I got to this place in the wheelchair, maybe I could go home.
I was wrong- I will never call that phone # again to talk to anyone ever again!!!! All I could think of was what I would miss at home and my stubbornness turned into tears as they stripped me like a criminal and wrote down any mark on my skin.
I am not a druggie I stated. all they had on me was my psoriasis, tick marks and surgery scar- no drug tracks or cutting. I was so humiliated. My standards and convictions is to keep the law. Mortified and humiliated.
MY bottom was open and exposed as i was given an hospital gown to put on. They searched my purse and clothing I had brought and finally offered me scrub pants to cover me up. I thanked God for these. So embarrassing, as I cried.
The head nurse was very kind to me at the desk and i stopped my tears. They only allowed me my books from home. I suppose those that made me come here did not know because I thought why did they not tell me all I packed was for naught?
They helped me to a room where another girl was out. By then it was midnight and I was thinking: "Oh no I share a room." They had me to take sleeping meds and I conked like a log. Glad to forget.
Part C In a few days .
I had been told if I went willingly I would get only 4 hours, I found out this did not include the emergency room time - which was as I stated 4 hours. I asked to go home at the 4 hour mark, but was not happy when i was told I was 96'd. I never had ever heard that term. I have since talked to many that know all about it. I questioned it and suddenly had 3 security guard around me. They would not let me call my lawyer not have my stuff. They made me get in a wheelchair by threatening straight jacket. I have always got out of anything I set my mind to if I really did not want to do it( I am not talking about things promised here, but what someone may put on me, I want to avoid.) I kept thinking how I was missing my daily walk, my kids trauma and taking care of my birds.
Finally I was getting somewhere and maybe once I got to this place in the wheelchair, maybe I could go home.
I was wrong- I will never call that phone # again to talk to anyone ever again!!!! All I could think of was what I would miss at home and my stubbornness turned into tears as they stripped me like a criminal and wrote down any mark on my skin.
I am not a druggie I stated. all they had on me was my psoriasis, tick marks and surgery scar- no drug tracks or cutting. I was so humiliated. My standards and convictions is to keep the law. Mortified and humiliated.
MY bottom was open and exposed as i was given an hospital gown to put on. They searched my purse and clothing I had brought and finally offered me scrub pants to cover me up. I thanked God for these. So embarrassing, as I cried.
The head nurse was very kind to me at the desk and i stopped my tears. They only allowed me my books from home. I suppose those that made me come here did not know because I thought why did they not tell me all I packed was for naught?
They helped me to a room where another girl was out. By then it was midnight and I was thinking: "Oh no I share a room." They had me to take sleeping meds and I conked like a log. Glad to forget.
Part C In a few days .
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